While You Are Single…

Being single. To some it is a depressing state to be in. For others, it opens doors to lots of opportunities, including freedom! But whether you are or aren’t enjoying your time being single, you should take advantage of the time you have not dedicated to a partner.

Let me tell you, when I first became single, I hated it. From sharing my life with someone for almost 4 years to having to adjust to life by myself, it was not my best time in life. But after the initial impact, the pain, and slight depression, I was able to realize that I can now focus on myself and do the things I couldn’t do because of a relationship. When you are in a relationship, a lot of your time and energy goes into that person and you naturally tend to back off on your needs and wants. But when you are single, all of that time and energy that would be invested in another person is now (or at least should be) invested in yourself.

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If you just recently became single, it is going to be a rocky moment while adjusting to just you. Give yourself some time, but not too much that you begin dwelling on it. Focus on yourself. Do the things you have always wanted to do. This is a perfect time to continue on the search of who you are as an individual. Your relationship and why it failed should have helped you grow and learn something about yourself.

Here are some tips on what to do while you are single:

  1. Pick up a hobby. Find something to dive into to occupy your time. If you have always wanted to learn how to paint, take a class or follow along on YouTube. Always wanted to blog?  Now is your chance to start it. Focusing on a hobby allows you to focus on you by doing something you like. Plus, it can open other doors in the discovery of who you are.
  2. Practice lots of self love: Being single can be hard for some, causing them to feel low about themselves. But while you are not loving anyone, love yourself! Give yourself positive self talk and keep yourself happy. Loving yourself is crucial to being in a relationship. You have to love and respect yourself before someone else can. When you love and become in tune with yourself, it allows you to understand who you are and what you want, and it also shows how others should treat you.
  3. Spend time with friends and family: Just because you are single does not mean you need to be alone! You have more time to spend with friends and family. Arrange days where you go out with friends and make a point to make it to family gatherings. Being around people who love and care about you is a good way to keep a positive attitude and to help you feel loved and special.
  4. Immerse yourself in your work/studies and work on skills: Keeping busy is key to getting rid of the single blues. Dedicate more time to work or focus more on your studies. Try to work harder to get that promotion you wanted or strive to impress your professor and get an A in that difficult class. If you have a skill or talent, immerse yourself in those. Hone your painting skills, learn a new way of fixing a car, or how to perfect your secret sauce in your homemade dish.
  5.  Know who you are: Take this time to get to know yourself. I always use the phrase “date yourself”, because that is what it’s like. Do activities by yourself and see how you react. Dig deep and figure out what makes you, you. Understand your likes and dislikes and work on the negatives about yourself but encourage the positives. Knowing who you are makes it easier for you to be sure of yourself and decisions you make. Plus, it helps build confidence being proud of you.
  6. Know what you want: This goes for relationships and life in general. Know what you are looking for in your partner. You should know what you can tolerate, what is a deal breaker, and you need. This will help rule out anyone who does not fit your standards. Know what you want out of life. This plays in your future partner as it determines what kind of life you want, whether that be marriage, kids or no kids, simple or extravagant lifestyle, and so on.
  7. Set goals and how to achieve them: Make a list of goals that you want to accomplish in a year, 2 years, 5 years, and 10 years. No matter how crazy they are, write them down. Formulate a game plan on how to achieve them and get started. Your goals and  how you go about them should not be influenced by having a partner.
  8. Enjoy life and have fun: Sure it can be hard being single when everyone seems to be in love but that does not mean you cannot have fun! Life does not slow down for anyone and instead of sulking and letting it past you by, take action and enjoy it. Plan a trip. Do things that make you happy. The perfect mate will come to you when it is time. Until then, why not have fun while you wait? Get your friends and family in on the fun, too!

Forever-single

Being single isn’t too bad. Take this time to focus on you and what you want out of life. Trust me, you will be doing what you are supposed to be doing with the right person when the time is right. Enjoy the journey of finding yourself and loving the life you live. Who knows, you may come across your soulmate while on the journey 😉 Stay optimistic!

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Do you any other suggestions on what to do while you are single? I’d love to hear them! 🙂

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