It has been almost 9 months since my break up and I have people asking why I am still single. So I thought a simple blog post will do the trick.
Being single is not a bad thing, let me say that. After dedicating almost 4 years to my ex and putting a lot of time and energy into him and our relationship, I felt it was time to be a little selfish (okay, a lot selfish) and dedicate time to myself and getting myself right. Not to say I didn’t enjoy building my ex up, I did, but I spent so much time on him that I forgot to take time for myself. And I think I deserve more than a few months of some TLC.
And I wanted to give myself enough time to get rid of my feelings and emotions towards my ex. I don’t think I’d forget about him because we never truly forget our first love but I needed to get rid of my feelings. All the pain, hurt, and anger I had after the break up needed to go and I did not want to rush my healing process. I deserved to take as long as I needed to heal and move forward. And I feel it would be unfair to the new man in my life if I still have unresolved feelings while being in a relationship with him.
I also figured that I needed time to get my life together again. After my car accident, I have been off of work for 4 months and my life didn’t leave my room and mostly went to doctor appointments. So I have not made myself available because I haven’t been out. Perhaps once I get back to work and get back on regaining my strength and getting rid of my injuries, I will feel a lot better about myself. I think getting myself back on a decent work routine along with my photography business and art will have me feeling like myself. Injuries can take a toll on you and can have you feeling pretty low about yourself. I have not been feeling 100% like me since my car accident and I would love to feel normal again before meeting anyone new.
It is time to take care of me and focus my life on me for a change. Plus, I am barely turning 24, I think I have plenty of time to find my soulmate. But in waiting for him, I shall take the necessary time to work on myself. I know I am not perfect and there are some things that I need to work on, and I think I will be a better partner to my mate if I can handle myself so I am not a complete train wreck when we do enter each other’s lives. I will find out who I am and get myself back on track to where I want to be.
And this is not to say I do not want a relationship, because I do, when the time is right. But I think there are some things I need to do for myself before I can commit myself 100% to another man. I did it for almost 4 years and a much needed break for some “me time” would be awesome. I am not actively looking for a man either. I want to ensure I am happy being by myself and love myself before I get with someone. I want to be with someone because I want to be with him, not because I don’t like being alone or am trying to fill the void of my ex. That is unfair to both of us and he wouldn’t deserve that.
So, I do not doubt my ability to find a man. Perhaps I just need the time to focus on me and get to where Tiarah wants to be. Get working again, actually go to the gym, work on my photography business, and create more art. My life doesn’t have to stop because I am single. It is barely getting started. And once I am working and out meeting new people, I am sure I will find myself dating again and who knows, maybe even bring home a potential man. But until then, it is focusing on me and giving myself the time I need to recover from everything that has happened.
You don’t have to feel pressured to be in another relationship if you are not ready to after being with your ex. And it is not a race to see who gets in a relationship first. Take the time you need to heal and recover and get with someone who values you for you 🙂