Break ups are not fun, right? The feelings you will experience are unlike any other. I still remember the pain and hurt I felt after my ex broke up with me. Time will be your best friend when it comes to healing but here are some things I think every person should go through after a break up. Some of these are from my recent experience that would have made it easier for me.
- Allow yourself to cry. Yes you read correctly. Give yourself time to grieve over the break up. It is completely normal and part of the healing process. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do to get it all out. You experienced a loss and it is going to hurt for a while. Let it all out and no holding back. I think I cried every day for a week, to a couple of times a week. And I cried sporadically throughout the break up months.
- No Contact Rule. I know it is going to be hard but do not contact your ex for at least 2-3 months, longer if you have to. If you keep communicating with them, it makes it harder to recover and get over them because you will feel they are still in your life. My ex constantly contacted me and it has made letting him go harder. Let them know you need a break and need time to cope. Trust me, it is something I learned the hard way.
- Remove them from Social Media. Another hard thing to do but you do not need to be checking on them all day every day. They are no longer yours and if you still see them on social media, you will still feel connected to them. It is part of the No Contact Rule, and it will help you with the recovery process if you don’t see what they are doing. You don’t need to see what they did at school or what new job they have or the worst, they are dating someone new. You are not part of their life and you should focus on yours.
- Treat yourself. It is going to be a rough road in the healing process so be nice to yourself. Positive talks and doing what makes you happy is key. I ate a lot of my favorite foods and watched Disney movies and bought myself things that made me happy. I also went to Disneyland a lot because it made me happy. Doing what makes you happy and being extra kind to yourself helps you to feel a little better, even when you don’t.
- Surround yourself with people who love you. This is so important! Being around others who love you will help when you have lost the love you had with your ex. It won’t fix it but it will help. And make sure you have at least one person you can confide in to talk about the break up. Talking about it helps and does wonders and you’ll need someone who isn’t going to mind constant conversation about it for as long as you need it. And having people helps to get rid of the “lonely” feeling you will have.
- Stay active. I know after a break up you want to crawl into your blanket cocoon and binge watch Netflix shows while eating your heart out but it is important to stay fit and active and get exercising! I don’t mean you have to go to the gym every day but you need to be outside. Whether it is walking, running, or sitting outside, fresh air will do you good. Plus, exercise will help you look and feel great, all while helping you release emotions.
- Feel the emotions. You are going to experience a lot of different emotions after a break up. Sadness, guilt, anger, rage, relief, depression, confusion, and more. It is completely normal but work through them. I feel it is a good thing to feel these and work through them. It is hard of the healing process. And it is okay if you have these feelings for months. However long it takes, work through it.
- Do NOT rebound. Rebounds usually do not work. I think people should wait at least 5 months before pursuing another relationship or at least be mostly over their ex. I know it sucks being alone after sharing your life with someone but do not get with another person just to fill the void of your ex or to get over them. It doesn’t work and is unfair to the other person. It is okay to be single and let yourself have time to heal. Once you heal, you can be with someone you truly want to be with.
These are eight things that I feel are vital to do after a break up. It is necessary to heal and give yourself time to get over your ex. Time heals all things but these 8 things can help you heal a little faster. Be kind to yourself and you will be fine. Soon you will be able to carry on with life and find new love.
Have any break up tips? Write them in the comments! 😀