One Year Ago…

One year ago, my life changed dramatically. I was a fresh college graduate, I became single, and my world was disappearing before my eyes. I remember exactly how I felt the summer of 2016. It was one of the worst summers ever but little did I know it was a blessing in disguise.

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Crying. That is what I did around this time. I cried so many tears. The unforgettable pain I felt in my heart because of the break up was creating darkness around me. And yet, I look back today and smile because I made it out of it and am stronger today for it. I am not saying I enjoyed it because I didn’t. But it did teach me a lot about myself and has shaped me into the person I am today.

If it weren’t for the break up, I would not be where I am today. Although I am still figuring out my life and getting everything back on track, I feel I am farther in a mental state. I grew up and saw the world for what it was. I began a clean slate. As much as it pained me, my ex putting me through hell and breaking up with me was probably the greatest blessing in disguise.

I was angry, with him, with God. I didn’t understand why I had to be put through this. Now I see. Everything that happens is needed for the next step in God’s plans for us. I firmly believe I needed to go through that so I can learn what never to allow a man to do again. To understand what I really want in a man. To allow myself to be free and in the future, find someone who is willing to love me for me without the risk of me changing for him. And to achieve my goals and dreams with no one holding me back. I don’t think I could have accomplished what I have with my ex. And for that, I thank him.

I was afraid of the future. I had to enter adulthood and I felt I was stepping into darkness without a hint of light to guide me. I did bump into the wall and received a few bruises along the way but now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is coming and I am excited.

It has been one year since my break up and I can say I am so happy it happened. I know what I want in a future mate and I am able to truly focus on my dreams and goals. I mean, I am working for Disneyland Resort, something I have wanted for years! It is my stepping stone. And sure I am still single while my ex is with his new girlfriend but I don’t care. I am happy and know that the right guy will come along in due time. When God feels I am matured enough and at a decent point in my life for Him to bless me with my soulmate.

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So for those of you who recently broke up with someone you love or encountering a new journey ahead of you, let me be the first to tell you from experience that YOU WILL SURVIVE! You will come out of this stronger than you think you will. It may seem like a rough patch now but I can guarantee you the storm will pass.

And now that the storm has passed for me and the waters are calming down, I can enjoy the effects of the storm and see the rainbow slowly peeping through. Your time will come. Give yourself time and constant love and soon your rainbow will appear, too.

Overcoming My Car Accident

Car accidents are traumatizing. If you have ever been in one, you know exactly what I am talking about. The constant replay of the incident in your head while you try to sleep. Driving seems to be out of the question and you are suddenly fearful of everything. It is not easy overcoming an accident. In fact, many have trauma for weeks, months, and perhaps depending on the severity of the accident, years!

I was in my first car accident on November 15, 2016. I was driving on the freeway to go to work like I had been doing for the past few months. Jamming to my Disney playlist (yall know I am a Disnerd so it shouldn’t surprise you) and watching the road, as any good driver does. Then out of nowhere, BAM! Another car came and T-boned me on my side, causing me to spin. I remember trying to stop my car from hitting any other cars and from it swerving out of control. I remember calling my dad and after that, I think I blacked out because I don’t remember saying the things my dad told me I said.

It was scary. To know people who have died in car accidents, that was my fear. I was an avid driver on the freeway, considering I drove to my college (which was about an hour and 45 minute commute) and to San Diego (another 2 hour commute). The freeway was my usual way of travel, making the streets not as much fun. So to get in an accident on the freeway when I was barely 10 minutes away from home was scary to say the least.

I did not have serious injuries that needed immediate medical attention, thank God, but my tiny body frame was always a cause of concern because I felt the impact more than someone with a bigger shape. But I walked away with swelling and pain. The next day was horrible, the pain I felt was numbing because I could barely get out of the bed.

And yes, I was traumatized from ever wanting to get behind the wheel. I spent the first month after my accident in lots of pain, fear, and tears. It was hard (and still hard) to put it behind me and not be scared to get on the road. How did I do it, you may ask?

Well I have an amazing support group with my family. My parents pushed me and coaxed me into driving. First they had me driving on the streets so I could get comfortable being behind the road. It took about 3 weeks for me to feel extremely comfortable behind the wheel.  Next was the freeway and that was a nightmare. Not to mention, it was raining! Probably not the best time to drive the freeway for the first time since the accident but it made everything else easier.

After 2 months, I drove by myself on the freeway, passing the location I had the accident at. It was nerve wracking to say the least. But I kept fixated on the road and distracted myself from thoughts of the accident by singing to music.

The thoughts from an accident pop up at random times, while you’re sleeping, talking with a friend, even taking a shower. I can still hear the sounds I heard during the accident, and remember what it felt like to be hit with such force. Even almost 3 months later, I still have physical pains and mental trauma. But I am coping with it the best I know how to.

For anyone who has been in an accident, give yourself time to heal but do not allow it take complete control of your life. You need time to process it, mentally and emotionally. Allow that time, you deserve it. And then talk about it or write about it as often as you need to. Get it out your system. You are going to be frustrated at times, especially if your accident causes you to have physical issues that hinder you from daily life, like mine. Try not to let it get to you. You will get through this. You made it out alive. Some don’t. So, count your blessings and continue on with your life in a way that best suites you. And don’t lose confidence in your driving skills. Start off slow and work your way up. These things take time and rushing them is doing more harm than good.

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Have any tips for getting over car accidents or want to share your accident story? Drop it in the comments! 😀